How domestic violence impacts people, and why they stay.
Victims of domestic violence experience an array of emotions and feelings from the abuse inflicted upon them by their abuser, both within and following the relationship. They may also resort to extremes in effort to cope with the abuse.
Victims of domestic violence may:
Want the abuse to end, but not the relationship
Feel isolated
Feel depressed
Feel helpless
Be unaware of what services are available to help them
Be embarrassed of their situation
Fear judgment or stigmatization if they reveal the abuse
Deny or minimize the abuse or make excuses for the abuser
Still love their abuser
Withdraw emotionally
Distance themselves from family or friends
Be impulsive or aggressive
Feel financially dependent on their abuser
Feel guilt related to the relationship
Feel shame
Have anxiety
Have suicidal thoughts
Abuse alcohol or drugs
Be hopeful that their abuser will change and/or stop the abuse
Have religious, cultural, or other beliefs that reinforce staying in the relationship
Have no support from friends of family
Fear cultural, community, or societal backlash that may hinder escape or support
Feel like they have nowhere to go or no ability to get away
Fear they will not be able to support themselves after they escape the abuser
Have children in common with their abuser and fear for their safety if the victim leaves
Have pets or other animals they don’t want to leave
Be distrustful of local law enforcement, courts, or other systems if the abuse is revealed
Have had unsupportive experiences with friends, family, employers, law enforcement, courts, child protective services, etc. and either believe they won’t get help if they leave or fear retribution if they do (e.g., they fear they will lose custody of their children to the abuser)
These are among the many reasons victims of domestic violence either choose to stay in abusive relationship or feel they are unable to leave.
Source: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
